I'm sure it is, I can feel it in my bones. The last time I got this feeling.....I don't actually think I've ever had this particular feeling before. Oooh, that's new....but the last time I had a feeling similar to this I had a very good week. It was everything I could have hoped for and more so God only knows what will happen this time! I hate not knowing what's going to happen but I have a fair idea and if I'm right then it'll top the last time by miles!
This is what I was talking about before, you know, having faith and trusting your instincts. It might seem stupid at the time but when you're actually feeling what I am right now you just can't believe that you almost gave this up and took the easy way out. The thing is....I still might! It's not over yet and I know I'm going to be tempted to give in and just let go...one more time wouldn't really hurt now that I know it's all going to be alright....but every time I give in it takes twice as long as before to claw my way back and right now I cannot afford to waste time. And to be quite honest I really do not want to go through all that again and again every time I slip up. It's getting too hard and it's not doing me any good. That's why last night I made a solemn, if albeit nervous, promise to myself and The Big Man to give up for good - forever and ever - and I can't go back on that. A promise is a promise after all and what I asked for in return is everything I've ever wanted so I can't back down now....I'm so close I can almost touch it! And by 'it' I mean the whole thing...the fairytale.
I know, I'm a big girl and I'm relatively sensible and intelligent so why the hell would I be wasting my time with fairytales but I think I've been over this! I believe in myths and magic and my fairytale is still a bit of a myth but with a bit of magic and a whole lot of luck I can make it a reality...I'd bet my life I could....xx
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